Tips on Improving Self-Esteem
SUPER IMPORTANT WARNING! 85% of all people suffer from some form of diminished and low Self-Esteem. The world is in dire need of Improving Self-Esteem. It is a low level of Self-Esteem, confidence, and self-image that cause most negativity and failure in our lives on a daily basis. Many try to “cover up” a lack of self-worth and low self-esteem with a showing of forced and artificial behavior.
Watch TV, open the newspaper, listen to the radio, or visit news sites on the Internet and you will immediately notice that the amount of human failure and disaster one is exposed to. It is disheartening to say the least. If you are like me, you may find yourself avoiding these sources of news and entertainment, not because you don’t car,e but would rather not be exposed to the negativity that infiltrates our media mind and in turn, at least for me, harmfully impacts our energy-state!
Not surprisingly, much of the negativity in the world is sourced from people having an unhealthy, low level of self esteem. Shocking, extensive research shows that over 85% of the world population has some type of deficiency in their level of self-esteem.
Effects of Low Self Esteem
Low self-esteem causes feelings of discomfort, unhappiness, anger, fear, procrastination, frustration, shyness, and incapability to name just a handful. This array of negative thought processes and sensations causes people to look for artificial ways to cover up their lack of confidence by taking on forced or unnatural behaviors.
Three of the most common ways people cover up a negative self-image, diminished self-esteem, and low confidence levels are:
- Forced and Unhealthy Communication
- Sleeping Excessively in Order to Escape Reality
- Use of Alcohol, Drugs, and Cigarettes
Importance of Healthy Self Esteem
How you feel about yourself (aka, self-image, self-esteem, self-respect) plays an important role in your ability to live your best life. With a healthy self esteem, you can take chances and overcome obstacles – faster and with greater ease.
Healthy self-esteem gives you the ability to set yourSELF in motion, which in turn sets the world around you in motion. It gives you the courage to go for what you want with courage and a belief in yourself.
If you are one of the people in the bottom 85%, here are…
5 Tips for Improving Self-Esteem
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1. Speak well of yourself.
In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz writes, “Through the word you express your creative power. It is through the word you manifest everything. Your intent manifests through your word. Depending on how it is used, the word can set you free, or it can enslave you even more than you know.”
The word is in the literal sense – OUR WORDS – what we say aloud and what we say to ourselves. We become what we think about most of the time. We become what we say about ourselves. If you continually tell yourself you “can’t” do something, or that you “don’t” have what it takes, you can be sure to create that reality for yourself because that is how you see yourself.
On the other hand, if you repeatedly say and think to yourself something like, “I am capable of creating a life I love,” you will indeed create a life you love.
Speak well of yourself and you will begin believing you do have what it takes to create and live the life you most want.
2. Live in a positive environment.
Surround yourself with people who have integrity and self-respect. Sounds a bit obvious, but if you have friends that lack respect for themselves (in other words, lack self esteem) you probably either do or soon will too. This is because your environment, what and who you surround yourself with, plays a big role in how you see and treat yourself.
Negative environments are hard to break free from, but if your environment is full of negativity or people who lack respect for themselves, consider what you must do (specifically, stay or go!) for yourself . If you are surrounded by people who criticize others (and you) and speak poorly of themselves, then my strict advice is run, don’t walk! Remove yourself from their company. In fact, in my opinion, no company is better than toxic company.
3. Take action on what you say you are going to take action on, or, do not say it!
Don’t say you are going to do something unless you really intend to do it. We have all experienced the “big talker” – the person who talks about their big plans but never does anything to make them happen. The “big talker” loses face because no one believes they will do what they say they are going to do. Additionally, you can lose face with yourself, generating a lack of trust in yourself and eventually a lack of self esteem.
Be careful to ONLY take things on that you intend to take action on, and if you do not intend to take action, do not talk about it. Walk your talk and remain true to your commitments. This is what Don Miguel Ruiz refers to as being “impeccable with your word”, and it translates into integrity. People with integrity have healthy self esteem. Integrity breeds confidence. Confidence breeds self esteem.
4. Accept fear and obstacles as a natural part of life and growth.
Beating yourself up when you find yourself gripped by fear and other emotions is detrimental, to say the least. We often judge ourselves when we have these feelings – we tell ourselves that we are scared because we are inadequate or don’t have what it takes. From time to time, everyone feels afraid, confused, and out of sorts. Be aware when these feelings are present, but tell them to take a back seat to your dreams and desires – don’t let them stop you.
Keep moving forward by telling yourself you are much more than the obstacles you face and the failures you have experienced.
5. Take time out to focus on all that you have done well – Give yourself some “Yays!”
Each day, take a moment throughout your activities to give yourself a “yay” for the things you do. You could even take some time at the end of the day to write down all that you have done well – include EVERYTHING you can think of!
- “Yay, I woke up!”
- “Yay, I ate breakfast!”
- “Yay, I brushed my teeth!”
Give yourself a “yay” for all of it. You will be shocked at how totally awesome this feels. Do it for everything, and it is almost guaran-freakin-teed that you will start feeling more confident and accepting of yourself. Of course, acknowledge the bigger things you do – your work, your strengths, and accomplishments on a regular basis, as they occur. In doing so, you will begin seeing yourself as a person who does things right and gets things done. You will begin seeing and appreciating all the good you do.
We all deserve to live a life we feel great about! It begins with yourSELF! Follow these tips on improving self-esteem and you will feel more worthwhile.
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“The clearer the rules and the limits enforced by parents, the higher the child’s self-esteem. The more freedom the child had, the lower his self-esteem.” ~The Optimistic Child: A Proven Program to Safeguard Children Against Depression and Build Lifelong Resilience by Martin E. P. Seligman
“The higher our self-esteem, the stronger the drive to express ourselves, reflecting the sense of richness within. The lower our self-esteem, the more urgent the need to “prove” ourselves or to forget ourselves by living mechanically and unconsciously.” ~A Woman’s Self-Esteem: Struggles and Triumphs in the Search for Identity by Nathaniel Branden
“Self-justification, therefore, is not only about protecting high self-esteem; it’s also about protecting low self-esteem if that is how a person sees himself.” ~Book Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts by Caroll Tavris, Elliot Aronson
“The fact is that self-esteem and your circumstances are only indirectly related. There is another intervening factor that determines self-esteem 100 percent of the time: your thoughts.” ~Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay, Patrick Fanning
“The best way to achieve self-esteem is to do something worthy of esteem.” ~Rush: Why You Need and Love the Rat Race by Todd Buchholz
“At the root of fear is low self-esteem. This explains why angry people have low self-esteem, are argumentative, stubborn, and quick to flare up yet slow to forgive. Those behaviors are defenses against the underlying fear.” ~Setting Boundaries with Difficult People by David J. Lieberman Ph.D.
“There is a direct relationship between self-discipline and self-esteem.” ~No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline by Brian Tracy